Note to self...Part deux

"Manston: Did Lars give you the TNT?
Crow [as Tanya]: He gave me the T and the N, but not the other T. And I had the A."


Dear Chica (continued...)

So here you are having fought and scrimped and saved to try and get you and your husband back to Maryland. Ed mentions that he has always wanted to be a cop, so you run with it. You of course are the one who is going to have to do all of the application filling out and saving money to buy your lesser half a plane ticket to go and take the test. Never thought you would get married to become a mother did you? I know, I know, you had these romantic ideals in your head about what being married young would be like. Oh, and did I mention that Ed passes his tests and physical tests well? Sounds great right? WRONG. He fails the whole thing because he couldn't pass the psych test. Yep. The psych test.

My dear young Chica, I wish you had just stopped there, took your belongings and ran back home. But you don't. Instead you move home WITH Ed and begin scouring to find him a job. Because he can't do that himself. In the mean time he is still working for the same company as in Florida but is working on a project in Nags Head, so you dutifully drive down every other weekend to keep your marriage alive and strong. Are we seeing a pattern here? Oh and I MUST tell you about your first wedding anniversary my dear. You go to school all day, work until 8pm and then drive 5 hours to Nags Head to be met by a guy who just wants to read comic books. So you will spend your anniversary crying while he ignores you. So. Freaking. Awesome.

Eventually he just comes out with it and says he doesn't see himself with you in 5 years, doesn't want to go to counseling and that is it. But let me tell you hon, it is going to be one of the greatest things to ever happen to you. Out of the crapshoot you got an awesome puppy named Lucy and realized how supportive and awesome your family and friends really are. Does your stretch of horrible choices in men stop there you ask? One should hope so, but of course not. This is YOU we are talking about here! You for some reason need a few more mistakes under your belt before you are able to give up and meet Mr. Hot Pilot.

You are sick of being with a non-ambitious, slightly un-educated, not sure what he wants out of life, unsuccessful guy. So you begin dating Stefan who has a degree and works for a financial company. He is nice and all, but really doesn't want to commit. He just wants to be single forever it seems. So you flip the other way looking for someone who wants commitment and family and all that gushy stuff. And you begin dating Lee. Now let me take a moment to give you a piece of solid advice. LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS NO MATTER WHAT! Believe me, they know what is best and right for you, even if you disagree at the time. Your mom tells you that the first time she ever met Lee, she felt sick to her stomach. Lee seemed quiet and nice, but in reality he was emotionally abusive to you honey. I hate to break it to you, but he made milquetoast out of you. Took $2,000 bucks from you, received your bank account password (so he knew when you could pay for stuff - in his mind all the time) pressured you to live with him, pressured you to not see your family, checked your email and call logs...I'll be quite honest, it is the closest you will ever come to prison - only I think it is much worse. Luckily you finally grew a self-esteem and kicked him to the curb.

And suddenly you finally get it. You don't want to be with ANYONE. Who cares if you are the single lady with all of the dogs living alone in a house 10 years from now? You are going to be happy ON YOUR OWN. Period.

So you go for quite a while being single, and truly enjoying it. You work hard in school, develop awesome friendships with the girls you have known all your life...and one day you inadvertantly meet him...an absolutely, ridiculously gorgeous man we now call "Mr. Hot Pilot." You don't think much of it though. You have been on a couple of dates with some very nice guys who for once are christian guys. You pray hard that you will never be hurt again or get into another bad situation like in the past. You pray that if a guy isn't right for you, that it just sort of ends before it starts. Before any emotions become involved. And strangely it happens. You go on a couple of dates, but nothing ever really goes anywhere, and you couldn't care less. And you are feeling this exact non-chalance when you meet Mr. Hot Pilot. He seems very nice (and he is SUPER hot) but you figure he is probably just another nice guy. You begin chatting back and forth, and he one day asks for your phone number. So you give it to him. You aren't nervous or anything, again pretty non-chalant about the whole thing. And then he calls. And you talk for nearly 3 hours. And the conversation is so EASY. And you really love the way his voice sounds. And you begin looking forward to his phone calls. And you begin talking every single night without fail. And you both want the same things. And you can tell him anything and everything. And you fly to San Antonio for your first official date. And that is it. You both are completely smitten with each other. He is by far the smartest, sweetest, most honest, most loving man you have ever met in your life, hands down. Even with your prayers you notice feelings for each other just keep getting stronger and stronger. It is then you know you have found the man you are to be with.

Think that is where this story ends? Not a chance. I'll have to fill you in on the awesome happenings of your life in 10 years.

For now, please take my advice and sit tight for Mr. Hot Pilot? Totally worth the wait!

Sincerely,
Your future self