If you can't cook, don't.

It's thanksgiving and once again I am mooching off of the cooking of another. I have never in my 27 years made a thanksgiving meal, let alone roasted an actual turkey. I plan on keeping that tradition alive as that is my favorite tradition. Eating what others have bestowed upon me.

In the honor of mooching, I have decided to provide you a link to one of my favorite blogs. Happy Thanksgiving!

From Passive Aggressive Notes

The only mouse I like...

My boys are finally here, so I feel as though I have every right in the world to take a day off.

Instead of words, I will leave you with what I believe will be my newest obsession/collection and will certainly pass this info along to Mr. Hot Pilot for christmas options.

Head on over to The House of Mouse to check out the entire collection. Here are a few of my faves :

Got run over by a train and all I got was this dumb plastic leg full of cash

Ah yes, Monday. The only good thing about Monday's for me now is that they are like a typical working schmuck's Saturday complete with insane amounts of sleeping in and early afternoon news watching. No matter what time I wake up, I nearly always turn to my blackberry for the latest on what has happened in the world while I slept (for 10 hours). Today was no different. There were two special news stories that I would be a jerk not to share with you.

Man Robs Credit Union, Puts Cash in Prosthetic Leg

"Authorities on Florida's east coast have arrested a man in a wheelchair who they say robbed a credit union on Merritt Island and hid the money in his prosthetic leg.

Brevard County deputies say 45-year-old Christopher Warren Reed was caught Friday afternoon about 10 minutes after they say he robbed Space Coast Credit Union. Reed is a paraplegic who uses a motorized wheelchair.
Investigators say he came into the credit union about 4 p.m., told a teller he was armed with an explosive and demanded money. He left with an undisclosed amount of cash.

Reed told deputies that two people had threatened him with a gun, told him to commit the robbery and were going to take the money for themselves. He was charged with robbery, grand theft, threatening to use a hoax explosive device and aggravated assault."

The best parts of this story besides the ingenious use of a plastic limb? That there is actually a bank named "Space Coast Credit Union" and that he tried the old "they threatened me knowing about my kick ass leg and so I robbed a bank for them" routine.

Classic.

Now I must ask one question. This man is a paraplegic right? So this means any limbs he might have he can't use right? So why in the world did he need a fake limb? Was it just to fill out his hot new pair of Wranglers or something?

My next story hails from the super-genius state of Alabama.

Alabama Man Survives Being Run Over by Eight Train Cars

Apparently this lovely 61 year old man decided to soak up the Alabama sunshine by laying his body over the train tracks. Because that is just the perfect spot don't you think? Little did he know that real live trains actually run on them there tracks. Who'd of thunk it?

My favorite part of the whole story was this line :

"Its unclear why Romine was lying on the tracks."

Shiny cat, shiny cat!

Yesterday I took a walk to the dirty, rotten food smelling, over-crowded, crack selling lovely Lexington Market in Baltimore City with a couple of co-workers in order to grab some cheap lunch.

I always go to this little chinese food restaurant (gotta go where the bubonic plague won't getcha!) tucked in the back between the pigs feet stand and the sushi that you can buy with your weeks supply of food stamps. I am fairly certain that my bourbon chicken is not actually chicken, but is cat. And I'm ok with that. If that is cat, it is DARN TASTY cat. So while perusing my blogroll this morning, I came across this picture which I just had to share.



If you gotta eat the cat, make sure it is a shiny cat that is bathed in a savory sauce. Enjoy!

Complete with tears of joy and prancing unicorns of justice

Because I have been a little bummed over the past couple of days following the election of Barack Obama as our next president, I decided to give myself a day off of my shopping moratorium and go and turn my hard earned money into things I really don't need at my local Target.

On my way there I was listening to the radio when I heard a report about a nudist group down in Florida that are pressing for a nude voting precinct in their area. Because that is super important and stuff.

My boyfriend and I have a long-standing debate over which state has the weirdest and scariest news stories occurring - his home state of Florida, or my home state of Maryland. So far I believe that I am winning by an Obama-esque landslide complete with tears of pride from people who are "finally proud of their country". (Excuse me while I go throw up a little)

So the news story goes like this:

"People at the upscale, clothing-optional Caliente Resorts off U.S. 41 want to establish the first clothing-optional polling place in the country. Most voters who live at Caliente exercise their rights at a nearby subdivision, where clothing isn't optional.

There's no concrete data on how many nudists live in the area, but state Sen. Victor Crist has estimated that Pasco County has 12,000 "nude votes."

The resort wants to make it easier for Caliente residents and members of the surrounding nudist community to vote, said Caliente spokeswoman Angye Fox."

(So I take it it is exponentially difficult for these nudists to throw on some clothes in order to go and vote...an action that takes place ONCE EVERY 2-4 YEARS.)

"State law wouldn't prohibit a clothing-optional polling station, said Jennifer Davis, a spokeswoman for the secretary of state's office.

"That would be up to the local supervisor," she said.

Corley has more pressing concerns these days, though – such as preparing for Tuesday's election."

Who do you think these clothing-avoidant folks voted for?

Everyone loves a free ride

So tomorrow is the big day for many...election day! While I am both nervous and excited (seems to be the way I feel about alot of things recently) about what the outcome might be, at least I can take a trip around town and collect some lovely freebies before I am taxed to the point of having to find a comfortable refrigerator box to live in on the streets of Baltimore.

Here are a few of the awesome places trying to sweeten the deal on voting :

Come into any Starbucks on November 4th and let your fabulous barista know that you voted (for McCain) and they will "proudly serve you a tall cup of coffee...on them". Not into coffee? Well then I'm fairly sure you must be into doughnuts right? Lucky for you, you can instead head on over to Krispy Kreme!
Be sure to don your "I voted" (for McCain) sticker in a visible area (your forehead should suffice) and at participating locations (re - the one you have to drive furthest to) will give you a free doughnut. So now you have your free coffee and doughnut...but what about dessert? Well just head your fine self over to Ben and Jerrys between 5pm and 8pm and you will receive a free scoop of ice cream. I of course would suggest something of the chocolate and peanut butter variety, but of course this is a democracy (or at least will be unless Obama sucker punches his way into the oval office) and you can choose what you prefer. Of course my favorite is the free Chick-fil-a sandwich for voting. If your local restaurant is participating, head on over to pick up a free original chicken sandwich on November 4th. Again, be sure to wear that spiffy sticker you get for voting (for McCain).


I do hope you all get up bright and early and go vote. No matter who you vote for - the dude who will pick your pockets dry or the dude who will protect our military - it is one of the most important things we can do as Americans.

For your culinary delight

It was a lovely fall afternoon so I decided to take a walk to my favorite burrito joint "California Tortilla" as I have previously mentioned here with regards to a near neck stab. While I was waiting for my beyond awesome burrito to be crafted, I decided to peruse the vast array of hot sauces that were available. Because I do have a rather interesting sense of humor (to say the least) I found these which of course just made my day complete :




If of course you happen to be just as intrigued as I was over these culinary masterpieces, you can find ordering information via the following links :

1 - See Dick Run (also available in See Spot in Heat)
2 - Rectal Rocket Fuel
3 - Ass in Space

Where in the hell is Matt?

If you haven't seen this website yet, you are truly missing out. This bit of awesomeness was passed on to me by a friend at work. Check it out!

Where in the hell is Matt?

Hey, I like my family...AS A FRIEND!

Charm City Finds

"*Puma Man*
* Puma Man flying over the city
MIKE: I don't mean to be picky, but Pumas aren't really known for flying."

Always on the hunt for really unique pieces, I decided to take a look at some of the shops in Baltimore's neighborhood of Hampden. Hampden is decidedly what one from the outside might conjure if all they knew of Baltimore was what they have seen in a John Waters film. Thanks to the Mill Center attracting artists to the area, this little area of Baltimore has seen an influx of great shopping and eateries. I have heard that Hampden has some great indie boutiques, so I went on search for some unique and inexpensive pieces to add to my floundering wardrobe.

One shop of interest is Double Dutch Boutique, which is right up my alley with its gorgeous dresses and other girly apparel. I also decided to check out the designers they offer individually and post my favorite finds as well as Baltimore bred designs:

Red Prairie Press :

Plasticland : I'm madly in love with these shoes. You can also find some vintage inspired mary-janes with a bit of a lower heel so you can walk comfortably all day.


Art in the age of Mechanical Reproduction Great T-shirts (I know, I said I'd stay away, but sometimes you JUST CAN'T!)


Pistol Designs by Ali Dryer : Who needs the latest Coach or Dooney and Bourke when you can have something handmade and designed in Baltimore for a fraction of the cost? And if you ask me, these bags are more of a statement piece than those $500 bags anyday!


Art School Dropout : For jewelry, accessories and "COMING SOON!" - BAGS!

Dandelion Blu : A baltimore based jewelry designer. I'm swooning.

Baltimore Etsy Street Team : Check 'em out!