Note to self...(Part I)

Do you have cartoon music playing in your head too? -Mike

Do you ever feel like you wish you could go back in time and tell your younger self all of the wonderful and terrible things you have learned over the years? I was thinking the other day about all that has happened over the past 8 or 9 years, and all of the things I would love to tell my younger self. If I were to write myself a letter, it would be something like this:

Dear young Chica,

So much has happened over the past 10 years, and I feel it is my duty to give you a heads up and forewarning. Now not everything is terrible, but believe me, you are going to learn some serious life lessons. Hope you are ready!

First, lets talk about your weight. Honey, if you only knew how awesome you looked, you wouldn't spend 75% of your time obsessing over every little thing you put in your mouth. What's the point in being thin if you can't enjoy it? And trust me, guys tend to like their women with a bit more of a figure (re - not looking like a 12 year old boy) than they do skeletons. I know you know things have been happening to your body that are big fat red flags to tell you what you are doing isn't healthy. I know you want children someday, and what you are doing right now isn't they way to ensure you are ready and able someday. Kudos on the working out, but let yourself EAT! Enjoy yourself while you are young and gorgeous! And oh, by the way? You ARE gorgeous. I know you don't think so, but someday you will understand. Don't be so focused on what other people think of you. Learn to love yourself, like yourself, and enjoy spending time with yourself.

Remember when you were a Freshman in high school and you made the comment "I think I'm too immature to be involved with/date anyone?". You hit the nail right on the head. Don't be so concerned with having a boyfriend or wanting guys to like you. Believe me, they do. You know those three girls who you consider your best friends in the whole world? They truly are the best friends you could ever have. No one gets you like they do. No one has the same crazy sense of humor (who can forget the Beck and Foot stories? or the crazy letters you sent to your former marching band mates anonymously? HIGH-larious!) Don't screw it up. Keep it up and you are bound to make a huge mistake in your love life (and with your friends)....

Yeah...speaking of huge mistakes in the dating realm. Where to begin? You should have stayed single until you met Mr. Hot Pilot (more on him later). That New Year's eve party you went to with your girlfriends? Probably should have stayed home and watched Dick Clark's rockin' eve with your parents. Instead you met your first "bad idea" boyfriend. Mike. Wasn't his drinking enough of a tip off for you to stay away? But you are young I guess, and those things seem so grown up and glamorous. News Flash : They aren't. (Just wait till you see what drinking does to a person later on in life when you work in a trauma center). And then you drove his drunk butt home. Seriously. Do we need to go back a few paragraphs and remind you how awesome you are and that you are worth more? Geez louise... So instead you date this guy, and he is your first kiss. At 18. Not bad I suppose (that you waited until you were 18, not that it was him of course)

You were too naive to see what might be happening when he kept bringing you flowers for no apparent reason. Oh you found out alright. That night you were supposed to go with a group of friends for dinner and movie. And he had to pull you aside to clear his conscience and tell you he slept with some random girl. Instead of doing the "worth-it" girl routine, you tried to stick around to see what might happen. And it happened again. So you finally dumped him.

But something about that first serious relationship did something to you. Instead of realizing it had nothing to do with you and your awesomeness, you somehow beat yourself up. You wanted some sense of stability, and to know you could have a normal relationship. So you started dating a friend, whom we shall call "Ed". Ed seemed cool and all...seemed like he was a romantic and artistic type. But in reality he had no drive and ambition. He couldn't even get past community college. But you married him anyway. Yep. You married him. Then you moved to Florida, far, far away from your family and friends who loved you. And suddenly Ed changed. Ed wanted a life separate from you. He told you he had enough friends already and that you were "just his wife". You went through serious financial hardships. Finally you scrimped and saved every last penny to get you both out of there and back home to Maryland again. Do you notice a trend here? YOU are the one doing all the fighting for this relationship, for your home, for your finances.

Guess we will have to see what happens later on....Part II later on.

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