Like a delicate flower...

Every so often here at work we have run-in's with some rather unkind characters. In order to make ourselves feel better about the nasty folk we have to interact with, we do things like this :

This woman in particular can not stand any one of us in research. I have compiled a list of her evil qualities in an easy to read picture format so that the average person can be made aware if someone they know and can't stand begins to exhibit these same unflattering qualities, including (but not limited to) the evil bone chilling glare, the affection for any man in uniform, and the thought that she is a hot mama and her patients will be over the moon to have her as the person in charge of their life.

And one cannot forget the frizz inducing hair bleach.

Please. Don't let yourself become a victim of Carmen Hostility Syndrome.


I had a weird dream last night...

I hate that phrase. I cringe when someone walks up to me with the statement "Oh man, did I have a weird dream last night!". I don't care, it really didn't happen, and it is going to be boring. They then go on to tell you an elaborate story complete with large hairy dogs, pink unicorns and their deceased Uncle Boo Boo come back to bring them a message regarding how hippo blubber can turn back the evil grip that time has on your face.

They go on like this for almost 10 minutes. Ten minutes you could have spent doing something else. Like not listening to them tell you about something that didn't really happen.

And then some of folks get mad at you because of their dream. Like the time they caught you cheating on a math test while wearing those nasty UGG boots in their dream.

I mean, do you really think I would wear UGG boots in real life?


A Munchkin after my own heart

Last week Mr. Hot Pilot, Munchkin and I spent our spring break down in sunny Florida visiting Mr. HP's family and torturing ourselves with the blinding sunshine, happy times of Disney World and the God-awful white sandy beaches of Tampa Florida. While down there with my two favorite guys I got to know my little Munchkin on a whole new level : I realized that at least three-quarters of his brain is filled with jokes about butts, poop and farts. If it weren't for the fact that I have neither the stretch marks nor the petrified fear of enduring childbirth, I would most certainly be convinced that this is my biological child. (Doesn't really matter if he is or isn't, he is still my Munchkin)

He is never shy about releasing his piquant bodily odors and our being in Disney World made this fact no different. It didn't matter that we were crowded shoulder to shoulder with about 10,000 other Disney freaks to watch the evening parade. While sitting on the shoulders of the man I love, he let loose his deadly gases. I didn't know quite what was going on behind me when I heard Mr. HP begin yelling "Dude, what the heck?" until the warm fragrance of doom overtook me and the man next to me gave me an evil glare and shuffled away from me. After a moment of appropriate shaming, I noticed something new about my little Munchkin - embarrassment. It used to be that we could joke around with Munchkin about things but this time was different. Instead we heard the exasperated sigh of a 7 year old who couldn't take the chiding of his super immature parents. "Dad-day! Car-ray!" was all he said in a rather valley girl-esque manner and sulked back to the car with us. Coming from the boy who is proud of his accomplishments and adores the smell of skunk (I swear) we were a bit taken aback by this new emotional development.

The next day he was back to his normal gross little boy ways of attempting to rub dead bugs and nose goblins on us. Instead of scolding him, I knelt down and kindly reminded him that due to his shorter stature, he is at perfect butt level of all of the other adults in queue and that he would be the first to suffer the effects if a butt-splosion were to occur.

Munchkins face contorted into a half grin/half look of fear.

This parenting thing? Totally rocks.


Lowery Park Zoo - Tampa

Pics from our family's spring break holiday. Lucky for us Mr. Hot Pilot hails from sunny Tampa Florida so visiting family is always a beach vacation.

A lesson in napping

I make weird faces while I fly.

Now that I have become what I call a "travel-only girlfriend" I have become quite accustomed to the friendly skies. I have logged more hours flying to and from wherever Mr. Hot Pilot is than I have actually spent in one on one time with him. (Ok, maybe and over-exageration but this long distance thing is beginning to really bug me...can you tell?) So in becoming a connoisseur of the mile-high traveling status one would think that I would have figured out a proper way to take a restful nap without all of the embarassing jerking, head lolling and grimmaces that tend to render me a scary seat mate.

I haven't.

I often awake to the realization that my face is somehow contorting into a serious downward frown, one that would scare any timid flier into never setting foot on a jet-liner again. I've always heard that it takes more energy and muscle to frown so does the fact that I am doing this in my sleep mean I just might be burning extra calories? (One can wish). I even look around at my slumbering flight mates to see how they handle an in flight nap and they all tend to do so without so much as a finger twitch. HOW DO THEY DO IT??

Oh yeah, and that "Ding" of the illuminated seatbelt sign? Scares the living crap out of me. It jars into my deepest dreams and causes me to jump about 3 feet into the air.

Sigh. If only Mr. Hot Pilot would get down on one knee, I might not have to rack up so many frequent flier miles any longer. I am beginning to think he may never actually do it. What that means for us in the future? Still unknown...