Beginning of a serious mental decline

I have alzheimers disease. Ok, so I might not have been diagnosed by a professional or anything but I do believe that after looking over the article "The Seven Signs of Alzheimers Disease" that I have found out what my issue is. Here are those seven signs :

1. Asking the same question over and over again.

I am great at this. Don't answer my question with an answer I like? I'll ask you again and again until you cave under the pressure and give me what I want.

2. Repeating the same story, word for word, again and again.

I do tend to do this - alot. Either I talk way more than the average female should (insert joke about female yappage here) and I just forget who I told my HIGH-larious stories to, or I genuinely just haven't paid attention enough to realize that I have told you that story about the time my dad tricked me into drying my face with a poop towel about twelve hundred times. And I will still be just as excited to tell you the twelve hundredth time as I was the first. (And don't be alarmed if I happen to refer to you as "what's his face")

3. Forgetting how to cook, or how to make repairs, or how to play cards — activities that were previously done with ease and regularity.

Ok. I totally have no idea how to repair that squeaky belt under the hood of my car; can't for the life of me prepare creme brulee or play a good hand of Texas hold'em. We all know how I used to leap tall buildings with a single bound with the ease of a Unicorn carrying president-elect Barack Obama for crying out loud. And now what? I can barely fix a decent bowl of cereal for Munchkin in the morning.

4. Losing one's ability to pay bills or balance one's checkbook.

Wait...I forgot if I ever had this ability.

5. Getting lost in familiar surroundings, or misplacing household objects.

It is a daily battle trying to locate my car in the parking garage after a long day at work. So many times have I gotten off the elevator at what I thought was the correct floor, only turn right around and step back on in order to ride the elevator up and down and randomly press my 'PANIC' button and try to follow the weak sounds of my car's alarm. And keys? Or anything else of remote importance? Lets just say the majority of my cardio workouts consist of me running up and down the stairs in a frantic search each morning before leaving for work.

6. Neglecting to bathe, or wearing the same clothes over and over again, while insisting that they have taken a bath or that their clothes are still clean.

Hello, I wear pink scrubs nearly every single day. Look in my closet and you'd think I was a cartoon character.

7. Relying on someone else, such as a spouse, to make decisions or answer questions they previously would have handled themselves.

Not sure if you want Subway or Quiznos? I am SO not the person to ask. When faced with being the one to make a decision I freeze on contact, my mind goes blank and I begin referring to you as "what's his face".

Ahh, the beginning of the end.